heather goes to mexico...

Last One

2007-12-04T15:34:00.000-08:00

Well my friends...I'm afraid to say this will be the last post I write while in our beloved country Mexico.

Tonight Eva wants to take Christmas pictures with me like these I took with Kirena last year:

But let's face it, it's not gonna work out.
A) because I don't have my big camera here,
B) because we don't have anywhere to take the pictures,
C) because I don't have any of my Christmas-y clothes or make-up colors here,
and D) because she's not Kirena! It just won't be the same.

So...there's that.

Then tomorrow I'm FINALLY learning how to make tortillas with Yazmin's maid in the afternoon. Yep. The same one who washed Raja.

Then Thursday is my Christmas/ Going Away party at the school.

Friday I'm taking my family out to a big fancy dinner.

Saturday I'm getting my nails done and going to the Super Tazon Azteca!! (Mexican Super Bowl)

And Sunday morning we're peacing out at 5:30am to head up to El Paso and then 12 hours later I'll be HOOMMEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So...goodbye? Thanks for all your prayers and support this semester. It's been a big comfort to know I have so many people at my back supporting me. Sorry I couldn't bring you more from this experience. And sorry I couldn't give you more of a "last post/ goodbye post."

Thanks, love, bye! See you back in the U.S. of A!

Bus ride from hell...

2007-12-01T21:16:00.000-08:00

Well…shortly after I wrote my last post, I called American Airlines again and changed my flight to Sunday the 9^th instead of Saturday the 15^th.

Let’s be honest, it’s time for me go. There simply is nothing left for me to do here. Every day I realize more and more what a failure this trip has been. It is time for me to go home. None of my goals were met, nothing I tried to do worked out; I’ve given up hope for this trip, and will be flying back home in 7 days. Sunday couldn’t come fast enough.

Wednesday night after I changed my flight, I made a list of things I wanted to do with my last 10 days “abroad” to take advantage of my time here and try to appreciate the city, etc. Those are turning out to be a failure too…

Originally I wanted to go out to the orphanage this Friday just for the day, to see everyone again and say goodbye to the kids and whatnot. I felt like I needed to since I told them I would come back. Well…as you’ve probably already guessed…that didn’t work out. So (again trying to take advantage of my time) I decided to have class in the morning, then I went to the mall by myself for a couple of hours (which I’ve been wanting to do and really enjoyed doing something on my own), and then I walked across the street and hopped on a bus. Yep.

Greg had told me a while back that sometime if I was bored and wanted to see more of the city, I should just hop on a bus cuz “you know it’ll always come back to where you got on it!” (All the bus routes run in circles). So…that’s what I did. I’ve been wanting to do it for a while just to see where it would take me. Meanwhile…I’ve been thinking the entire route would take at most an hour. So yesterday I get on the bus that I always take to school, Circunvalacion 1, and take a seat in the back. After about an hour I got a little worried, because I could tell we were WAY south in the city (I live in the north part) and not going in the direction of home. After (count ‘em) two and a half hours I was worried sick because it was starting to get dark and to rain and we were still NOWHERE close to being home. I recognized we were downtown, following the same route we’d taken about an hour before. I was very near tears the entire last hour and a half I was on that bus. I remembered one time months back when Yazmin had told me, “If you ever get on the wrong bus and get lost and have no idea where you are, just call me and I’ll come get you.” And so I called Yazmin. She must have sensed the fear and exhaustion in my voice because she immediately dropped everything and came to get me in about 15 minutes. As soon as I stepped off the bus and sat down in a little park to wait for her, I started crying. I was exhausted and had the worst headache from being frantically worried for the past 2 hours. Yazmin took me to her house and made me dinner and gave me milk and cookies (I’ve never felt more like a little girl who got lost from her parents) and then I just went home and slept. And slept. And slept. For 15 hours to be exact.

That experience just affirmed that I would like nothing more for this “journey” to be over and to go home. And asap.

I’m over it. Wayyyy over it.

7 days to go.

P.S. I’m really not sad. Please don’t feel sorry for me.

But seriously??

2007-11-28T15:06:00.000-08:00

Don't hate me for looking at the American Airlines website to see how much it would be to change my flight.

I would leave tomorrow if I could. I'm so over it.

P.S. Good news. Elizabeth and I got into a townhouse for the spring. This is good because we're been stressed because we had nowhere to live before. Yay.

Much needed pictures...

2007-11-28T14:49:00.000-08:00

These are not at all in order and we're gonna pretend that that doesn't bother me, ok?

So here is our Thanksgiving feast that I insisted on having:
Todo la familia:

Us girls being crazy after dinner:

Dyed my hair again:

Me and Eva:

Me with my beautiful Christmas tree that I decorated:

A nice view of the city:

My pretty tree again:

The Thanksgiving box my mom sent me!:

Ready for Thanksgiving!:

Billy, David, Kristen, and I when I went to visit them in Parral:

Me and Eva before the quinceanera:

The cake:

Pyrotechnics? Yeah...it was a little eccentric.

Dancing with balloons, and the birthday girl, Daniela:

Almost Done

2007-11-26T15:34:00.000-08:00

So...I've got less 3 weeks until I finally go home. 19 days to be exact. And I am sooooo ready. Not desperate, but just ready. And definitely excited.

I feel like I've done everything that there is to do. Most of the things that I wanted to do didn't happen and I've basically just stopped expecting anything other than learning Spanish to happen.

So yeah...I feel like I was a little mislead in the beginning, but I've just come to accept that I'm only here to learn Spanish. That's it.

So...anyway...I'll be home in 19 days. I expect a giant hug from all of you. :D

HOLIDAYS!!!

2007-11-21T16:02:00.000-08:00

I mean let's face it. I love this time of year. We decorated for Christmas this weekend (at my request--they normally don't decorate) because it was a long weekend for the Mexican "holiday" celebrating the revolution. And I must say...I decorate a mean Christmas tree. It's pretty much beautiful. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and I'm super excited. One of Eva's friends drove up to Dallas for a conference and took a bunch of my stuff home for me, and she's bringing back a bunch of traditional Thanksgiving food that my mom made and tomorrow I'm skipping school and I'm actually gonna cook the rest of the big meal! We're going to have a feast! And there's like 8 people coming total I think. I'm so excited for my family here to try an American Thanksgiving feast! And supposedly it's gonna snow on Sunday?! Not sure if I fully believe it but...yay? And in 24 days I'll be home for CHRISTMAS!!! Ugh I loovvveeee the Holidays!

Sorry I'm not posting more often...I've been having computer troubles lately. Love it.

Oh p.s! I'm going to the Mexican Super Bowl on December 8th!! Hahaha....yesterday Eva was like...Hey do you want to go to the Super Bowl with us in December? And I was like...umm...I'm pretty sure the Super Bowl is in February... And she was like, No, it's the Mexican super bowl! So...there ya have it!

It's a little late...

2007-11-15T22:11:00.000-08:00

I’m sorry I’m not keeping ya’ll updated more often. I’ve been super tired lately and the last thing I want to do is stay longer at school to blog. Forgive me.

I have a new teacher in the afternoons now. Her name is Pati and she’s got this crazy new-agey way of teaching. It’s hard to explain it so I’m not going to even try. I’m not learning new things, just learning to apply the things I already know that are hard for me. It’s been great and extremely helpful, but it’s insane how exhausting it is. Mainly because it’s in the afternoon and my brain is always just dead in the afternoons. I can’t ever concentrate after lunch. All I wanna do is sleep. So it’s been a challenge because this new way of teaching is real intense and I really have to be thinking hard the entire 2 ½ hours. But I’m enjoying the challenge seeing as I feel like I haven’t used my brain at all in a few weeks.

To add to my exhaustion, I’ve been running every morning at 6:00 with Eva in La Deportiva (the Central Park of Chihuahua). It’s really amazing to wake up and start running when it’s freezing and still dark, and then watch the sun rise over the mountains and stretch warm orange streaks along the grass through the trees as my breath lingers visibly in the cold air. And the cooing of a billion pigeons is almost overwhelmingly soothing. I actually really love it. But damn it’s early. And 2 laps around the Deportiva takes 40 minutes.

I realize the more I live here that we really are in the high desert. Although it’s cold enough for me to see my breath in the morning and to bundle up before heading out to run, in the afternoon I find myself sweating while walking to the bus stop in a t-shirt and jeans. What’s that about?

I went to Parral last weekend to visit 3 of my JBU friends who are teaching English there at a Christian school. I really loved being there. I took the bus, by myself (a huge step for me here in Mexico) 3 hours south. I found the small city of 100,000 quite charming. It was much smaller than Chihuahua and had much more hills and cerros (as they call them in Spanish—basically giant hills). We walked EVERYWHERE. Sometimes half an hour just to get to one place. I took a taxi for the first time in my life and got over that fear. It was really great to be there and have a weekend of fellowship with people who understand where I’m coming from, and whom I can talk to in English. It was really fun too because all 4 of us are bilingual and so most of the time we’d switch the conversation back and forth between English and Spanish. Now that I think about it—that’s pretty cool to be able to do. I was also told by multiple people that my accent is amazing. Maybe because they’re used to hearing Spanish with an American accent from Kristen, Billy, and David…cuz people never tell me that here. I spent the weekend battling envy because the 3 of them have such a great community down there. Billy was telling me that he doesn’t really miss being at JBU because his JBU community was replaced with his co-workers and friends from church (the school is connected to the church). Which explains why I miss JBU so much. I don’t have a community down here… I stayed 4 days and came back Monday night, a little sad to be leaving. But I actually caught myself thinking, “It’s good to be home…” when I arrived back in Chihuahua. Weird. I’ll be going back to Parral in 2 weeks hopefully. And who knows….maybe I’ll end up teaching there too in a couple of years. They’ve already offered me the position…ha. J

Well…I’ve saved this for the last paragraph because I know you’ve all been anxiously awaiting what I’m about to say. I regrettably inform you that the orphanage thing is not working out. Perhaps this is why I’ve delayed so long in replying. I haven’t heard a word from them. Granted, I haven’t tried calling them. Mainly because the day I left, when I talked to Mama Rosy, it seemed by the tone of her voice that they didn’t really need me there (which is hard for me to understand because what orphanage with 120 kids and only 8 on staff doesn’t need more help?) I’ve been praying heavily about what to do with the rest of the semester and I’ve come to my conclusion: God brought me here to learn this language. To do language school. And that’s what I’m gonna do all 16 weeks. Seeing as I feel like I tried all semester to get into an orphanage and then when I do and want to stay there, they don’t need me—it would seem that the missions thing is not in God’s plan for me here. You can only do so much right? I’ve prayed about it fervently, and I just don’t feel led by the Lord to pursue it. Sorry. L Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s in His plan for me here.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately because I always have to have a conclusion; I always have to make sense of things. How many times have I asked the question, “Why am I here?” I think God brought me to Mexico to get over Mexico. And by that I mean to get over the whole missions abroad thing. I’ve decided that the Lord calls people, strong, selfless, determined people to minister to strange and foreign countries abroad. I am not one of those people. Now I’m not ruling out the option of teaching English here or in another Latin country…I’m just saying that it’s equally as important for us to realize that God actually calls people to have “normal” lives and “normal” jobs in “comfortable” cities in the U.S. Where their mission field is not a tiny village in the jungle or secret underground churches of an Asian city, but the street they live in, or the floor they work on. Ya know? I’ve struggled with it in the past because I always perceived it as the “spiritually strong” people who got called to be missionaries—like if you weren’t called to be a missionary it was because you weren’t strong enough. And I always wanted to be that. But it’s just a matter of where God is calling you. There are just as many unsaved people wasting away their lives in the suburbs of America as there are in the ravages of third-world countries. And maybe it is an issue of comfort. But I’ve come to accept while being here that missions abroad is not where my life is headed. Granted short term mission trips are fine, but full-time…it’s just not for me. Since being here, for the first time in my life I’m actually extremely ok with the idea of just being a teacher or even working as a translator for some business. I’m ok with the idea of having a “normal” life. I just don’t have what it takes to live abroad for long periods of time. I think the Lord brought me here to come to that realization. I always made it out to be much more romantic that it is. I needed to get over it and realize that that’s not what He’s got planned for my life.

So folks, I’m dreadfully sorry to disappoint you, but I will be continuing my studies here in Chihuahua for the last 4 weeks of my time here, and will hopefully be fluent when I return home one month from today. After all…that was my main goal in coming here.

Wish I had more computer time....

2007-11-06T16:57:00.000-08:00

So today I don't feel very well...that's what I get for spending my weekend in an orphanage with 120, smelly, dirty, wildly rambunctious, but loving kids.

I went to Lirio de las Valles early Friday morning and returned late in the afternoon on Saturday. When I came home I was EXHAUSTED and after showering immediately, I collapsed on my bed and slept for 2 hours quite solidly.

The orphanage was a big yellow, blue, and orange building out in the middle of real Mexico. Surrounded by mountains and miles and miles of orange dirt and scraggly, dried-up bushes, it is home to 120 kids from 3-18, 4 dogs, 4 goats, 5 gigantic pigs, and a cat. To my surprise, it was extremely clean, although in the evening (I slept on a bunk bed in a room with 40 of the youngest girls) I thought I'd never be able to get used to how rank it smelled. It seemed all the kids were extremely rough, which is understandable, but all extremely outgoing and loved me the second I stepped foot in the place. It felt a lot like camp to be honest, just a lot less structured, and with the kids doing all the work instead of the "counselors." There are 2 American girls working there for 6 months, Lauren and Mary Ellen. They're 24 and we got along really well. It was really nice to talk to someone my age in English. It was wonderful really. And I'm pretty sure I talked their ears off. During the afternoon on Saturday we spent about an hour trying to rid their closet of cockroaches. Yeah...it was pretty sick, but I had a lot of fun laughing and screaming with them. We got up at 6 on Saturday morning (which was "sleeping in"--normally they get up at 4:15) and I hung out with a lot of kids throughout my weekend there, had a few play with my hair, and after that I was pretty sure I had lice and would never be able to get a brush through my hair again. It was fun, and I fit right in. I was able to communicate with the kids perfectly and it was really encouraging. Right before I left on Saturday, a 15-year old girl randomly told me I have a Mexican accent. What a huge compliment! Seriously...

On Friday night, as I lay in the oldest, tiniest top bunk ever, I prayed real hard. The whole time I was there I felt such a feeling of right-ness. I don't know how to explain it. It's not like I had an amazing time or had tons of fun or anything, but I felt strangely drawn to that place. After a day, my heart was already breaking for those kids. It just felt like I was supposed to be there. And despite how rank it smelled and how many germs cover that place and how I couldn't ever stay clean, and how exhausted I was, I wanted to stay there.

I talked to Greg on the way out to the orphanage and apparently I'm at this awkward point in my semester where they don't really have anything left to teach me...and they don't really know what to do with me for the rest of the semester. As you can tell where this is heading...I'm thinking about going out to serve at the orphanage for the rest of the semester. My biggest goal/reason I wanted to come to Mexico was to serve in an orphanage. And spending my last 5 weeks out there would definitely satisfy that. I'm a little torn because I absolutely ADORE the family I'm with now. But let's face it...I'm real bored and REAL tired of being here at school and doing the same thing day in and day out. I'm more than ready to go home. But I can't for another 6 weeks. So...I'm praying for the orphanage--despite how breaking I know it will be.

My favorite little girl, Karely (half the girls have their heads shaved from a lice outbreak they had):
Their bus:
One of the girls rooms, getting ready in the morning:
Me and Ana, the most helpful, mature 10-year-old ever. Loved her.
Lauren and Jacqueline. The youngest girl, and quite possibly the cutest:
A bunch of the kids outside looking at pictures on Lauren's camera:
Andrea, the second youngest girl, the poster child for I-need-a-home:
Me and Ramon. Super super sweet challenged kid.
Me with a bunch of the kids.
The orphanage:
Hopefully you'll hear about more.

Red Head again??

2007-11-01T15:55:00.000-07:00

So my "house mom" does hair (a fantastic plus to living in their house) and so on Monday night I went back to being a redhead.

Before (with Senora Salinas):After:
So that's fun. In other news, I went to Cuauhtemoc on Saturday (a city an hour and a half south of here) for Mennonite pizza. Unfortunately, it wasn't really worth the drive for how much it was talked up but whatev. It was a fun trip anyway. With Eva and 3 of her friends.

Eva and I have been walking/running every night in La Deportiva (it's basically like the Central Park of Chihuahua) and Tuesday night we got "Sabrosas!" yelled at us by the entire boy's soccer team from the University here as they ran past us. That literally means flavorful...just so you know. I won't lie...we liked it.

Last night was Halloween, but you never would've known it here. Except I did get pegged in the side with an egg last night as I was ordering from an Elotes stand on the side of the road. Apparently Halloween night in Mexico means let's all drive around like crazy people and throw eggs at innocent bystanders. It was really swell.

Tomorrow I'm finally going to the orphanage. I'm kind of scared...but it'll be good.

Next weekend I'm hoping to go to Parral (a city 3 hours south of here) next weekend to see Kristen Olsen. That'll be good to see someone from home. :D

And the NEXT weekend I'm going to El Paso with the fam for Christmas shopping!!!!!!!! I love Christmas! And I love El Paso because that means I can use my cell phone!! Yay!

So....if you can't tell, I'm really not in a writing mood so I'll try to update more later. Bye!

Winter in Mexico??

2007-10-24T15:57:00.000-07:00

So I woke up on Monday morning to a sunny, but windy and FREEZING cold day. On Sunday afternoon I was wearing shorts and tank top and practically sweating. On Monday morning as I walked to the bus stop underdressed, I got hives on my hands and ears. Love ya, cold allergy!! I was wearing jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt and would have enjoyed a scarf or some gloves, but it wasn't cold enough to be wearing your winter coat. Mexico on the other hand, disagrees. I chuckled a little as I boarded the bus and saw almost every person bundled up in winter coats with scarves and gloves and the like. Mexico does not know how to handle winter. It was huge talk all day that it had hailed in Juarez. Seriously though?

I slept the hardest I've slept this entire semester (love ya, crappy Mexican mattresses!) on Monday night because I was in sweats and had like 3 thick, heavy blankets on top of me. It was wonderful. It stayed cold all day Monday and got even colder during the night (4 degrees Celsius--whatever that translates to in Fahrenheit) and yesterday was cool all day too. I thought I'd make like a Mexican and dress warmly but it was just too much. I felt ridiculous in all those clothes for such little cold.

I love the cold. It felt so good to come to school bundled up and sit down and have a hot cup of coffee. Mmmm...and then Monday night when it was freezing I went home and Eva and I made Chai tea and toast and we were all bundled up in blankets. It was fantastic.

Sadly, it's starting to warm up again. This is the closest to any season other than summer I've seen the whole time I've been here. It's really refreshing. It was kinda nice to break out in hives for the first time of the season. Haha...yeah right.

PACKAGE!!!!

2007-10-22T12:42:00.000-07:00

My package finally got here today! I've been waiting for it for a MONTH!!!! And Greg got stopped at the border and had to pay $37 for it...freak a leak I hate customs. It had 2 books, a new journal (the one I wanted from Barnes and Noble!), headbands, fruit smiles, a bunch of shirts I wanted from home, pictures, cards, Diet Dr. Pepper, my favorite gum, blistex, gifts for the Portillo's, and TONS of snack food. YAY!!!!! It's like Christmas!

2007-10-20T20:14:00.000-07:00

My mom said on the phone this evening, “You sound like a different person. You sound like yourself. You weren’t yourself at that other place because you had so much stress. You sound relaxed and sane like normal.” It’s true. I feel like I just got here, to Mexico that is. Like I was somewhere completely different the first half of the semester. THIS is what I was expecting all along. I’m so comfortable here and my Spanish is already advancing so much. It’s amazing. Thank you Lord for meeting all my needs.

P.S. (I don't know why this font is different...) If you’ve never been to The Village Church or if you don’t live in the FlowerPlex and have never listened to one of Matt Chandler’s sermons on iTunes (free podcasts by the way), I strongly suggest trying it out. As faithful as I am to my Crossroads Bible Church, Matt Chandler is an amazing preacher. Kirena actually found the Village’s free podcast on iTunes about a week after I got here and I’ve downloaded all 150-something of them (one from every Sunday since May 15, 2005). Honestly, they’re really keeping me going lately. They’re amazing because they really are deep, meaty sermons on things that need to be preached about, they’re filled with scripture, and Matt Chandler is hilarious so they’re truly entertaining as well. I didn’t actually listen to one until last Sunday when I didn’t have a church to go to and so I had my own little “service” in my prison cell at the Apodacas. It was like…suddenly my eyes were opened. It felt like it was the first time I’d been to church in months. Cuz let’s face it, all the churches I’ve been to here, the pastors talk way to fast for me to understand everything so I usually end up just tuning out. And I was at camp the whole summer so I really haven’t been to church where I could learn and grow since May. But even then (sorry faithful New Heights and Crossroads lovers), the churches I go to in Arkansas and in Texas don’t give me HALF of what these free Village sermons online do. And they’re ALWAYS exactly what I need- even when I just close my eyes and randomly click on one (thank you Jesus for meeting my daily needs by speaking to me through those sermons…) They’re truly amazing—and about every topic you can think of. Seriously—check them out. I can’t wait til I can actually ATTEND the Village on December 16^th. Sorry Crossroads, I’ve officially switched over.

Seriously though...

2007-10-19T23:11:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe how amazing my new house is. A total blessing from the Lord. They’re perfect. I’ve been here for 10 hours and already I feel way more comfortable here than I ever did with the Portillos or especially the Apodacas. It’s incredible. Honestly…it feels like the Solow’s. And we all know how much I love the Solow’s… Hermana Eva is soo amazingly sweet and talkative. I love it. It makes me talk which is what I need. As soon as I arrived, she served me lunch and then sat down and asked me what I like to eat and began making a list. She even asked me what brands I like of things and everything. And her food is amazing. She said she hates cooking anything with fat in it and she only likes chicken and fish. PERFECT! When her husband came home he was extremely friendly and immediately began asking me questions about my life. After dinner, we all went to the grocery store to buy the things she’d written on her list. Amazing. They kept reiterating over and over—“This is your house, we want you to be comfortable, we’re glad to have you here, etc…” So amazing. I did my laundry this afternoon and took a nap after I started the washer and shortly after I woke up, I was on the phone with my parents and she walked in with all my laundry in her arms, folded. Again…amazing. Then tonight their younger daughter, Sofia, who’s married came over with her husband and we all watched their wedding video and ate pizza. It was so fun because I felt so comfortable with all of them so I was able to talk fluidly without being nervous or intimidated. It’s amazing how much I actually can speak when I feel comfortable. Seriously. It was funny because on the way to the grocery store I was saying that I can read and write and understand Spanish easily, but speaking it is the hardest. And they started laughing because apparently I had formed my sentences perfectly. They were saying—it sounds like your speaking is fantastic because your sentences are conjugated and formed perfectly; your grammar is perfect! It was really really encouraging. I’ve never had anyone tell me that before. And at lunch today was probably my first legit conversation that I’ve ever actually maintained for longer than like 5 or 10 minutes. It was amazing. All the sudden I just feel like my Spanish is sky-rocketing. Praise be to the Lord! He gives me grace where I don’t deserve it. The last 3 weeks were hell, but tomorrow marks the exact half-way mark of my Mexican journey. I’m going to dedicate the second half to starting anew. I’m better friends with this family already than I am with anyone else I’ve met so far. They’re so warm and open. THIS is what I was expecting all along. I don’t feel alone; I feel loved. Que bueno!

I’m looking forward to going right to sleep tonight instead of spending an hour not being able to sleep because I’m scared for my safety…

And tomorrow morning Hermana is going to make me pancakes! I love this family. Being here makes me feel so much more confident about EVERYTHING. I even said hi to a stranger tonight. I don’t do that! I’m not even scared about taking the bus 4 times a day because I’m so comfortable here. And just the way my speaking is improving already…all because I’m comfortable.

Quien sabia?

“Esten siempre alegres, oren sin cesar, den garcias a Dios en toda situacion, porque esta es su voluntad para ustedes en Cristo Jesus.”
-1 Tesalonicenses 5:16-18

“Hermanos mios, considerense muy dichosos cuando tengan que enfrentarse con diversas pruebas, pues ya saben que la prueba de su fe produce constancia.”
-Santiago 1:2-3

“Ahora bien, sabemos que Dios dispone todas las cosas para el bien de quienes lo aman, los que han sido llamados de acuerdo con su proposito.”
-Romanos 8:28

YAY

2007-10-19T11:25:00.000-07:00

Praise the Lord. I'm moving today! I'm really really really excited. I'm moving back to the first neighborhood I lived in, which is definitely nicer and safer. Hopefully there'll be a dryer and a closet to put my stuff in.

Soo...I don't really have anything else to say...so here are some pictures!

That's right folks...that's most of my clothes hanging out to dry...because there's no dryer...
At ExpoGan...it's like a big stock show.
Random pony running around loose...
At the rodeo...I like the shadows of the cowboy hats.
Me with a really creepy looking cow....I was a bit scared I won't lie.
The walk to school from the Apodaca's. My school is WAY beyong that giant church in the background...
My school's street.
The horse parade...only in Mexico...

My wall of photos at the Apodaca's.
The Mexican Beatles cover band....this is when they were singing "Love is all you need."
Me and Sonia up in a tower in El Palomar before the concert.
Cafeina concert at the Cathedral.
The best hamburger I've ever eaten in my life. For only $1.60
Judit, Me, and her sister Sarai at the Cafeina concert.

Praise the Lord. I'm moving today! I'm really really really excited. I'm moving back to the first neighborhood I lived in, which is definitely nicer and safer. Hopefully there'll be a dryer and a closet to put my stuff in.

Soo...I don't really have anything else to say...so here are some pictures!

Oh.

2007-10-15T17:46:00.000-07:00

On a side note, I went to a rodeo yesterday.

And I learned how to say "big deal!" in Spanish today.

So here's what's going down...

2007-10-15T17:43:00.000-07:00

I want to move. Really bad. I had the worst weekend of my life. I did absolutely NOTHING on Saturday and sat in my little jail cell of an room the entire day. Everyone always says, “Hey call me if you need anything, I don’t want you to be bored or lonely”…but whenever I do, they either don’t answer, can’t come get me, or are busy. I don’t blame them…they have their own lives…they shouldn’t have to babysit the little American girl with no friends and absolutely nothing to do. Usually I’m fine when left to my own devices…but here…I have no devices. I don’t have a car…I don’t have other students in the same boat as me that I could hang out and do nothing with. Weekends kill me. Never before have I woken up on a Sunday morning and thought to myself, “Yes. Tomorrow is Monday…I get to go to school…” And it’s not because I necessarily love my school…although it’s not that bad, but mainly just because it’s something to do. Consistent. Everyday from 9-6:30.

Guess what- I can deal with a weird washing machine and no dryer. I can deal with hang-drying my clothes. I can deal with hand-washing what feels like thousands of dishes. I can deal with ants on the floor and in my box of cereal. I can deal with a broken toilet that I have to reach my hand in the tank and pull the broken chain to flush every time. I can deal with the most uncomfortable bed I’ve ever slept on in my whole life. I can deal with being scared and praying for safety every night before I go to sleep and every morning as I venture out to walk to school. I can deal with no air conditioning and a fan that ticks so loudly that sometimes I think it’s going to drive me insane. I can deal with all that.

What I can’t deal with is no food to eat- ever- except during the rare lunches I eat at home (this morning I opened the fridge to look for something to eat for breakfast and as I did, Marisela my “host mom” said, “Uh-oh…” I realized why when I saw that the fridge was completely empty—save for a few carrots and almost empty Tupperware containers with leftovers from 3 days ago—no eggs, no yogurt, no fruit, no milk. And then she just stared at me as I poured some Trix into Ziploc baggie and walked out the front door.) I have had one too many tortillas with PB and J. Their bread is bad, there’s no lunch meat, they ate the cheese that I bought last week—and the leftover grapes and plums I’d bought for to go breakfasts on my way to school. I can’t deal with that. They get paid to house me—I expect a lot more.

What I can’t deal with is absolutely no interaction. I mean…the name of my school is Interaction! And I’m not having any! My “family” doesn’t talk to me, doesn’t ask me about my life, doesn’t invite me anywhere with them (I didn’t even have anyone to go to church with yesterday…thanks to free podcasts from the Village Church in Flower Mound, I had my own little service in my room). I’ve eaten 2 meals with them. And usually when I am in the house…I feel so awkward because no one says anything so I usually just run out of the room. I got chastised for using the phone to talk to my parents the other day, and chastised more than once for trying to take the key out of the door to my “apartment.” Why even freaking have a key if you can’t take it with you?!

And yeah…I’ve tried…I bought my own food, and they ate it. I’ve started every miniature conversation that has ever occurred, I receive short answers to the questions I ask, with no questions in return. Half the time I want to ask, “Why the hell did you offer to host somebody??” Basically…I’ve gotten used to what I can get used to … but being lonely all the time and not feeling welcome is something I’ll never get used to.

I was upset last night because I’ve been here for 7 weeks, and I’m still not involved. I’ve been here for 7 weeks and I had nothing to do this weekend. I hate the idea of talking to Greg about all this because I don’t want to be the failure. The program’s failure. Every other student comes here and has no problem getting involved and finding friends and having a grand old time. It’s been 7 weeks and I’m still not happy…I still want to go home. But while I on the phone with my mom, she made a good point. It’s not my fault. I’ve been trying. I got put in a crappy house. I got the ok to come on down here, even though I’m the only student—bad idea if you ask me.

I believe God can turn this around. I believe God can give me a rainbow at the end of the storm. I also believe that God can continue to make this harder for me so I will continually be forced to grab his hand. It’s when you’re stripped of everything you think you need that you realize that all you really need is God.

Big deal!

2007-10-09T15:46:00.000-07:00

-they don't have fall in Mexico. it's still 95 degrees here everyday..and i'm in the freaking mountains!

-i haven't seen a spider here the entire 6 weeks i've been here. not one.

-i've watched 12 movies in the past week.

-on saturday night i went to a concert performed by a mexican Beatles cover band. and they were actually pretty good...we all belted the lyrics to All You Need is Love and Hey Jude and waved our arms and it was good. afterwards, sonia and i rolled down a MASSIVE hill that we had to climb up to go to the concert. we each got about 3 thousand tiny stickers all over us, but it was worth it because it might have been the hardest i've laughed since i've been here.

-i'm going to the VIP movies tomorrow. yay.

Simply and Slowly

2007-10-08T21:10:00.000-07:00

On another note, I'm learning to live simply and slowly here in Mexico. I got home from school today around 7:00 and took a shower and sat on my bed and wrote until now while listening to the radio. They played Lifehouse, Bon Jovi, and Radiohead and it was good. At around 8:20, I went inside and made myself dinner, washed my own dishes, washed some grapes and found a bowl to put them in. I sat at the table and ate by myself. In quiet. Only the hum of the fan overhead and the murmur of the tv in the next room. Then I came back and kept writing. I'm going to go to bed at 10. And walk to school in the morning. No internet. No cell phone. No TV. I'm getting used to this. I have time to sit and relax and reflect. In quiet. Without distractions. And it's kind of nice. I've stopped freaking out about not being busy, and I'm taking the opportunity to learn to live simply and slowly. I kind of like it. What?!?

I think I'll read until it's time to go to bed. I can't believe how ok I am with this...and how I actually kind of like it. (??) Thanks God!

Growing more comfortable with this experience day by day (I think...),
Heather

Things I'm really looking forward to:

2007-10-08T20:40:00.000-07:00

(as you can tell, memories and hopes keep me going down here...)
-the Great Reunion in January. It's been 5 months since we've all been together. 3 months to go. That day is going to be so freaking amazing.
-(Hopefully) living off-campus in the spring. Either in the Dupes with Eliz and Emily or really off-campus in an apartment with Kirena.
-Living with Kirena again in the future (hopefully the near future...). Let's face it...we're the perfect roommates. Basically. and everyone knows us as a pair at JBU. It just works ok?? And maybe I love it. A lot. I can't wait to have our own apartment. :) After we graduate, we might have to follow each other to wherever the other one ends up- whoever gets a job first (probably Kirena- considering I don't even know what I want to do yet...). And we'll live together. Forever. Well...until one of us gets married. Haha...hope this plan's ok, Kirena!
-All of us reuniting with the Luna in the spring. God-willing...if Jake takes good care of it this fall that is...
-Me, Kirena, Katie, Emily, and Elizabeth having our emotional (cue Elizabeth), candlelit reunion ceremony in January.
-Guatemala for Spring Break. With Kirena. :D
-Fun trips with fun friends in the future. Whenever, wherever!
-Living/working in Canada next summer. Big deal! I have citizenship!
-Christmas at my house. And appreciating my big bed and closet (don't have one here), dishwasher, washer and dryer, my mother cooking for me, my car, Starbucks, etc. :D
-Going to the Solow's on Christmas. Always my 2nd favorite house/family during the holidays. :)
-Evan, Kirena, and I being together again.
-Friends. Lots of them. All the time.

:D

Things I really miss:

2007-10-08T19:47:00.000-07:00

-my car- seriously. I haven't driven in 44 days.
-driving around on nice evenings in Dallas or NWA with windows down and music blaring- by myself, singing along of course- at sunset. with my hair down and blowing in my face. :D
-my entire sophomore year of college. and everyone that was involved to make it the best school year of my life.
-fall. and the pumpkin patch. and leaves. and when the air turns crisp. and taking pictures of it all.
-living in Mayfield with all my closest friends.
-staying up til 3 on a Friday night doing nothing but searching for and downloading old 90's songs on iTunes with Kirena.
-tanning and drinking Paris Hilton with Alex.
-having no class on Tues or Thurs and laying out on the quad with Evan, or playing in the snow with Kirena and Kendra, or driving to Rogers with Alex for Starbucks and shopping. Or just sleeping in my dark rm. 166 on nasty days.
-Kidd Kraddick in the morning (now in NWA on 105.7!)
-Kirena's old house (the first one). and driving through the heavy snow in February in Alex's car to do our laundry there. while it snowed 8 inches outside. while we watched the Hills and Next on MTV. and folded our warm laundry on Kirena's bed. and I think I remember Alex dancing...probably.
-how calm and quiet Siloam is when covered in snow.
-stealing trays from the caf to use for sledding (2 years running, baby!)
-the hill behind the Polard's house for said sledding.
-late night trampoline excursions at the townhouses.
-midnight McDonald's runs with Kirena, Elizabeth, and crew.
-homework? yeah I said it. I miss being busy...
-chapel at JBU. and the way they do that cheesy raise-the-blinds-and-let-the-light-in thing at the climax of an emotional song. so dramatic...
-my house at Christmas time.
-driving to Dallas for an amazing 4-day birthday weekend with Kirena, Evan, and Ty.
-La Huerta...all the time.
-choir.
-living with all my friends.
-parking in the chapel speaker spot all the time and getting messages on my phone from angry campus security.
-watching LOST in my room every Wednesday at 8:00. speaking of which...Daddy are you tivo-ing that??
-Christmas decorations in Mayfield. and my tiny Christmas tree in my room. and taking ridiculous Christmas pictures around campus with Kirena.
-12:45 lunch with EVERYBODY in the caf on Tues and Thurs.
-on the fly photography excursions with Alex. whenever the conditions were right.
-backpacking on the Buffalo...and rescuing a man that fell out of his canoe...
-caving at Devil's Den.
-Chili's with the Emily's.
-the drive from Siloam to Fayetteville on Hwy 16.
-church with Em.
-going home to Dallas and feeling rich- just because it's Dallas...not because I am.
-Galleria 06. Galleria 07?? Emily? Robbie?
-LNS-ing with Elizabeth.
-nap time with Cory.
-climbing trees in the quad.
-eating dessert and Diet Pepsi with Camille at my house in FloMo.
-my dishwasher- I've never hand-washed so many dishes in my whole life- even in my 2 years living in Mayfield. NO ONE has a dishwasher here...again...learning to do things for myself.
-a working washer and dryer within reach- this house doesn't have a dryer...that's fun.
-Starbucks. and Barnes and Noble...
-laying out. Mayfield Beach style...
-my amazing, crazy weird, totally one-of-a-kind friends that make my life as fun and funny as it is...

Yuck...here goes vulnerable again...this is what life inside my head is like.

2007-10-07T23:33:00.000-07:00

Ugh. I’m tired of thinking so much. I don’t even know what I feel about this trip anymore. I just know I hate thinking so much. And writing a down-wanna-go-home post and next day writing a I’m-better-God’s-teaching-me-this post. I just wish I could let go and have fun. For God’s sake I’m studying abroad in Mexico. I should be having fun. I should have stories to tell. But I’m not. And I don’t. And I don’t know what needs to change. Yeah I think God’s teaching me things here, but I don’t think this is gonna be life-changing. I really hope I’m less selfish and can do more things for myself when I get home—like dishes, cooking, cleaning, etc. And I hope I appreciate my huge house in Flower Mound and my car to take me everywhere. But by no means has this 6 weeks been life-changing. Let’s face it. I’m just bored. I’m tired of the emotional roller coaster. I wish I could be like Emily Gilbert (sorry if this is awkward that you're in my blog...) and just live places and make friends and always be myself and be crazy and fun and have an amazing time. She can always be herself, and people love it. I admire that a lot. I haven’t been myself here the whole 6 weeks I’ve been here. I’ve really been trying to be more confident and just let go. But it’s not working.

The more I meet people and make friends around here, the more I realize how unique and truly AMAZING my friends are back in Arkansas. Shoot there is NO ONE quite like Elizabeth or Emily or Katie or Alex or Kirena or Luke. I haven’t met anyone with our sense of humor. I freaking love them so much and being here makes me realize how freaking fortunate I am to have them.

And the more I hang out with people’s families and in people’s houses the more I realize how much I LOVE my parents and our house. Seriously…it’s just so comfortable. Gosh I love my life at home.

Of course…the grass is always greener on the other side. Why can’t this be as cool as I thought it would be? I’m not learning Spanish as fast or as well as I thought I would, I’m not traveling or having any unique Mexican experiences, I’m not working with orphanages or the transition home (mainly because of my self-consciousness about my Spanish and my frustration with having to use it). Ugh. I pictured myself being so laid-back and chill and go with the flow. But nothing’s going with my flow and so it’s weird. I hate that I can’t just be like Emily and love life wherever I am. But she had an advantage in California this summer and in Ireland. Friends. Her age. In the same boat as her. She lived with 11 other people who were all interns at TOMS from all over the country, doing the same thing she was…wanting to explore SoCal and live it up while they could. And in Ireland…I mean she’s with Lizzy, Luke, Alex, and Jeran. All her best friends are there with her. They’re all exploring, living, studying TOGETHER. I have nobody here. My friends are Mexicans—with their own lives. It’s so much different when you’re by yourself.

I just wish so badly that I was one of those super-confident, outgoing people that could walk into a room knowing nobody and within minutes have a bunch of friends and have half the room saying, “Yeah I just met her…she’s pretty cool…” Even in a different language. I can speak well enough for small talk. Why can’t I get out of myself? Even in the states I do this. I’ve been struggling with it so much. I’ve been praying for God to just open my shell so I can just let go and start living here. I hate it…it’s SO far outside of my comfort zone…

I’m just so tired of analyzing this trip and trying to simplify my thoughts about it and trying to justify it and make it ok in my head. Gosh…get over it. I’m tired of thinking so much. I just want my semester abroad to be fun, like I and everyone else was expecting it to be. I don’t want it to just be learning Spanish and growing spiritually. But maybe once I accept that…I actually be able to let go and have fun. Gosh this is hard.

Recent Pictures...

2007-10-04T16:38:00.000-07:00

1 and 2. pictures from my new accomodations.
3. sunrise from waiting in line for opera tickets.
4. the people who were in line first...they started at 10pm and spent the night there.
5. all the people in line at the theater.
6. the front of my new house.
7. my tiny "apartment" in back.
8 and 9. view from the roof.
10. my stuff...there are no drawers or anything for me to put my stuff...so it's still chillin' on the floor.
11. me and judit at the jazz cafe downtown last thursday night (JB there's your shirt!)
12. diana doing my free nails.
13. diana's salon.
14. my legit, free nails.
15. me and JB at the VIP movies a couple weeks ago. where we got crepes, sushi, cappuccinos, and the movie ticket for only $11. what the crap. why don't we have that in the states?!

Welp.

2007-10-04T15:31:00.000-07:00

Ok so I'm doing better. I wouldn't say I've changed my mind about wanting to go home...but I'm in better spirit about it, thanks to the Lord. I've kind of just accepted that I'm gonna be here until December 15th and it's gonna be hard and I'm gonna hate it at times. But I know I'm growing and I guess that's what God brought me here for. To break me, heal me, and grow me. I know he's trying to teach me to have faith and not be scared--seeing as I walked to school for the first time on Tuesday, and although I was terrified, God kept me from all harm. He's trying to teach me to live in lower circumstances, and with this, I'm learning to appreciate things a lot more. I'm still frustrated with my recent lack of progress with the language. I can tell I'm on the verge of switching over to no longer thinking in English...it just hasn't happened yet.

I talked to Danny today and on Tuesday, and talking to him always makes my day. I just love that we basically have like...nothing in common...not even any friends in common really...and we've still remained good friends over the last 5 1/2 years. Love it.

The weekend's coming up and I have absolutely nothing planned...I think the Lord is also trying to teach me that it's ok to be alone. That just because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm alone forever and that I should have a meltdown. It's just something I'm not used to being forced to do. Whereas here, I don't have a car, I have a limited amount of friends who have busy lives--so often get stuck in my room with nothing to do...and I thus have a meltdown. The Lord is trying to show me that it's ok to be alone, and to take the opportunity to further my relationship with him.

In other news, I've seen 5 movies in the last 2 days, and I rented 5 more today to keep me entertained this weekend. I've never really liked movies before--here, I'm obsessed. Mainly because it's so cheap. I went to the movies last night and saw Stardust (which was completely in Spanish--no subtitles) and my ticket was only $2.50. I then bought a giant tub of popcorn (the jumbo refillable ones) and a giant soda for $4.50. Freak-a-leak. No wonder I want to go everyday.

I also got my nails done on Saturday for FREE. One of Yazmin's sisters, Diana (my favorite), taught herself how to do acrylic nails and so she did mine...for free. They're legit too.

On Sunday morning, I stood in line for 3 hours (starting at 6 in the morning) to get tickets to an Opera that was in town Sunday night. They ran out about 60 people before me. I was really bummed. I love the opera.

I ate Elotes Alex on Sunday night and it never ceases to amaze me. Probably my favorite food. Ever. Like the movies...I could go there every day.

Oh. P.S...I got 5 tacos this morning for $2.40. They were goooood too. Dang things are cheap here.

Soon I will post pictures of my new living situation. Oh and also: the people here inspire me to be more ambitious. Everyone here is really smart and works really hard. I might change my major again when I get home. If I already speak Spanish when I get home, what's the point of finishing a Spanish degree? Who knows...they all think it's crazy here that I'm getting a degree in Spanish. Only. People here only go to school to get degrees in things they could make money at. Like business, finance, medicine, etc. The idea of getting a degree in a language is ridiculous. Who knows what I'll do with my life.

Also, everyone here drives standards. So...I'm going to learn how to drive a stick while I'm down here. I told my teacher this morning that I didn't know how and she laughed. Really hard, for a pretty long time. "You don't know how to drive a stick?" I tried to explain that they're not that common in the states. Here, not knowing how to drive a stick is like not knowing how to drive at all.

At my wit's end...

2007-10-01T16:06:00.000-07:00

I don’t know what’s going on. I’m so confused. I don’t even know what to think anymore. Saturday I felt fine…but I was busy all day. Saturday I understood and could speak alright. Saturday I had fun. But overall…this experience has been really really really hard. And I can’t tell you how appealing the thought of getting on an airplane and flying home tomorrow is. The idea of just getting to my house and crashing. I’m so exhausted. I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of not having friends. I’m tired of praying and praying and praying and not seeing any of the big picture. I’m tired of trying to speak and failing. I’m tired of not improving. I’m tired of feeling like I’m going crazy-when I look back on these kind of posts when I’m having a random good day when everything feels ok, I wonder why I’ve been so up and down here. I’m tired of feeling anxious the second I’m by myself. I’m tired of feeling scared. I’m tired of trying to overcome my fears. I’m tired of being out of my comfort zone. I’m tired of being shoved around from house to house and never really feeling like anyone really wants me there. I’m tired of being stretched.

This isn’t culture shock, this is me not having a good time. This is this trip not being at all like I thought it would be. This is me, unable to have a fun time when I am out with people my age, because all I can think about is how I don’t want to go back home and be alone. This is me not improving because I don’t have the energy to put towards learning this language because I’m so exhausted from everything else.

I don’t want to talk to Greg. I don’t want him to talk to my host family and “fix things.” I don’t want him to move me to another family. More changes, more changes. Enough changes. I don’t think I can handle this.

I just want to go home. I’m tired of dealing with all this. I’m tired of things never being anything like what I expected. I’m just really tired.

I know that if I went home, everything would change. I would probably do absolutely nothing for the rest of the semester, and then change my major. Again. As far as missions goes—I don’t know if I’m cut out for that! If I can’t freaking learn the language and tough it out here in Mexico, how will I serve on the mission field with Spanish? If I can’t go 5 weeks without friends, how will I do in the mission field? I thought I loved Spanish, but being here makes me hate it. I’m not improving. And I’m tired of trying to be confident when I’m not. I’m tired of trying to be happy and fake it when I’m not. I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of being sad all the time. I’m not a sad person! It makes me feel like I’m not doing well spiritually, but I am! I’ve never spent so much time with the Lord, depending on Him as much as I have been since I’ve been here. I just feel utterly exhausted, like I can’t go any further.

If I go home, I won’t learn to speak this language. But at the rate I’m going, I won’t learn anyway. Everything would change if I went home, but at least I’d be at home. Right now the only thing keeping me here is that I know I’m not a quitter. I don’t ever bag out and go home. I know that God doesn’t ever give the people that love Him anything they can’t handle. But damn, it sure feels like I’m barely hanging on.

What’s the big picture? Why the hell am I here? I haven’t even stepped foot in an orphanage, and my Spanish isn’t hardly improving at all! What is God trying to do here? I realize I’m being stretched…but there is just too much! I’m SO far out of my comfort zone, I don’t even know where my comfort zone is anymore. I’m just so confused, and I feel like I’ve been praying for a piece to the grand puzzle for so long, to no avail. I’m almost certain God’s plan wasn’t for me to come here, realize I couldn’t handle it and then go home. But being here is wearing me thin.

Something’s gotta give. But I can’t figure out what. And right now the idea of getting on a flight to Dallas tomorrow is almost too tantalizing to resist.

Being here makes everything different. I want to go home and change my major, and get more involved at JBU. I want to get back into music, it was the only “intelligent” major I had. Everyone here works so much harder than people in the states. Being here makes home and even all its bad parts seem fantastic. Being here has made me learn so much about myself, and mainly made me see things that need to change. Being here makes me realize how hard it was for God to grab my attention beforehand. I was so distracted by school, friends, and selfish ambitions. But being here is so hard, and I crave comfort like a ship-wrecked person craves dry land. I crave laughter like a sick person craves morphine. I’m at my wit’s end and it feels like I can’t go any further.

But it’s funny how after struggling to cling to the Father’s hand through that big crowd and feeling yourself wearing thin, when you finally lose your grip and let go, right before you fall away to be trampled by all the blank-faced people above you, the Father bends down and picks you up and carries you the rest of the way…

I’m about to let go. I can’t do this.

The Art of Stretching

2007-09-27T23:28:00.000-07:00

Well…the Lord sure is stretching me this semester. I have only to trust in him. I literally feel like I'm always just clinging to my Bible. I've never experienced such dependence on the Lord before. I just always feel like a little girl lost in a big crowd struggling to cling to her father's hand, looking up with teary eyes begging, "Please don't leave me..."

This house is the COMPLETE opposite of the other. I'm living in a tiny little apartment off the back of the house. It smells like dirty water and the bed is extremely narrow and feels like I'm just sleeping on the ground. There's no fan, and the stuffy heat and the ticking of the clock might drive me insane. Again...this is not like what I expected, but this time it's worse than what I expected. I like having the space to myself...but talk about lonely.

I’m selfish.
I’m a spoiled princess.
I need to learn contentedness.
I need to learn that you can still LIVE without some “necessities.”
I need to learn that I can do things on my own, like ride the bus. Even in another country. I need to learn that the Lord will take care of me and I have nothing to fear. I’m tired of being scared.
I need to learn to just let go.
I need to learn to be still and know the He is Lord.

This is much more like I thought this trip would be like I guess...it’s still just so weird. This family is so UN family. I don’t like that. I want to eat together, get to know them, etc. I like having my own apartment…but I don't like feeling so disconnected. I just don't know what to do when I'm at home. I wish I had some books to read or something. I have to wait another week and a half for the package from my parents...it has books in it. And whenever the other girl, Lalis, comes back...I'll be sharing the tiny apartment with her until Marisela's daughter leaves and goes back to Denver. And then I'll probably move to the tiny room inside the house next to Marisela's...and then I'll be sharing a bathroom with she and her husband. Greg says that a student stays at that house every semester...but I don't see why. So far I don't like it. A guy from JBU stayed there during the summer, so I'm trying to talk to him to see what he thought....

It's only my second day there...hang in.

Now I feel like I’m living in Mexico. I hope I keep hanging out with Judit and her brother and friends. I liked hanging out with them tonight. We went to a Jazz cafe downtown for dinner and coffee. It was nice. I just need to keep busy on the weekends. Weekends kill me...that's when I get the most lonely...because I have nothing to do and it's not like I have a car and can just drive around and explore by myself like I would in the state.

Tomorrow I’m going to take the bus to the school to use the internet. And then maybe even take it all the way to Yazmin’s house.

In other news, I found Diet Dr. Pepper this morning. It was a glorious reunion.

I’m tired…there’s too much going on in my head. I’m going to bed.

Updates

2007-09-27T18:09:00.000-07:00

1. I got my computer to work at the school. Who knows how I did it, but thankfully it works.

2. About the addresses. Ok. Once and for all- all packages go to the El Paso address, and everything else goes to the Chihuahua address (letters, I'm assuming). P.S. I'd really love letters.

3. Call me! I have a US phone number and it's free from your very own cell phone! 1-203-270-3860. Or you can call me at my new house. 011-52-614-421-0406. Fantastic. I expect to hear all your voices soon.

Adios! More to come about the last two weeks soon...it's been a really busy day as you can imagine. My new house is MUCH different from the last...seriously. More to come. I promise.

Real Mexico, here I come...

2007-09-27T18:03:00.000-07:00

Well I know I promised to try…and I did…we had a power outage during a storm last night and the internet was down. But I wrote this on Word last night:

So here I am, a month into this journey, and it’s my last night at the Portillo’s. I’ve been strangely at peace about it all day since Greg told me this morning. It feels so weird, surprisingly. I just all the sudden, in the past week or so, got really comfortable here. Not just in this house, but in Mexico. Like…it took about 3 weeks, but this finally kinda feels like home? It’s weird to say it. It’s funny because Craig’s experiencing the same thing in Merida too. I mean, I know I don’t really have friends yet…besides JB and Yazmin and her sisters (whom I absolutely adore), but I’m comfortable here. I like this house. And this bed. And the wireless internet. And the shower. And all the family. But I guess this was bound to happen anywhere.

Tomorrow everything will be different. It’s weird to think I won’t get ready and immediately go next door to see JB and co. in the morning. It’s weird to think that this is my last night in this house. After tonight, I’ll be sleeping in a new bed and taking the bus (or walking) to school. I’ll live on the other side of the city, without an American best friend living next door. I’ll be eating different food (I’m guessing probably more authentically Mexican), and doing different things on the weekends (Greg’s trying to get me hooked up with friends/churches/orphanages now since JB and Tommy are leaving and I’ll have nothing to do…). It’s like I’m starting all over. But still in Chihuahua. It’ll be better I guess because I’ll be doing what I actually came here to do. This month has been a really good transition month—a nice soft cushioning for my landing here in this foreign country. It was safe—an American-ish house and English-speaking family, with my American friends next door as my English “safe-haven.” Now that I’m comfortable in the city and with my teachers, classes, etc…And now that I know some people (Yazmin and all her family, and Claudia, the 19-year-old nanny for Ben and Whitlee, and Judit, my 25-year-old teacher and her friends), I can do what I came to do. I can learn Spanish more fully (my new host family doesn’t speak English—and neither does the other young girl who lives there), and I’ll have the time and confidence to start serving in orphanages and such or join the church choir (I’m seriously thinking about it—this is the first semester I haven’t been in a choir since 5^th grade).

So here’s to a new chapter—the Lord is faithful and I knew he’d carry me through. I’m comfortable here now—and now I can start actually living. Instead of worrying, missing, keeping inside myself. Here’s where the real experience begins. I praise the Lord for that soft cushioning to land on when I first arrived here, but I think I’m ready. I am living in another country and I intend for it to look like it. Here I go. I’m feeling a little uneasy—that feeling like you don’t want to go to sleep because you know everything will be different the next day—but I’ve accepted that change is coming. I’m going to embrace the change with open arms. (Unlike when I first moved here—I feel like I just shut off.)

(Some time later):
I don’t want to stop writing. I don’t want to go to bed. It’s so hard to turn the page when it’s right here in front on me.

Change is Coming

2007-09-26T13:12:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry it's been so long since I've written...the last 2 weeks have been a roller coaster.
Turns out I'm moving tomorrow afternoon...so that means tonight is my last night of in-home internet. So I will definitely try to update.

Tomorrow is gonna be a big day for change. Jenny Beth and Co. are going home to Arkansas at 5:30 in the morning, and in the afternoon, I will move to another host home on the other side of the city--where everything is different (if you remember me describing this house as FloMo-esque, my new house will most likely be the opposite).

It will be so different after today, but I'm accepting it. This month has been completely different that I'd expected, so what's to come will probably be different than what I'm expecting now too. It should be interesting. I have to walk 20 minutes to school or take the bus each day...and like I said...it's in a very different part of town. More "Mexican" if you will...

Anyway...right now I'm off to help JB and co. clean up and pack their house, and then we're going to see a Vietnamese Water Puppet show downtown.

I promise I will try to update everything from the last 2 weeks tonight.

thought of 2 more things...

2007-09-16T23:27:00.000-07:00

-Raspberry Mint Orbit gum
-Blistex. Regular type.

Care Packages

2007-09-14T15:45:00.000-07:00

If you'd like to send me a care package, I would forever love you and be very grateful.
Here are some things I'm really missing:

-Diet Dr. Pepper
-Cheezits
-black and brown headbands (they don't have headbands here!)
-Reese's
-fruit snacks (wal-mart Fruit Smiles are my favorites)
-cracker packs (I love the wheat crackers with cheese!)
-pudding packs (vanilla and chocolate mix is my fave)
-I really need a sweet Barnes and Noble journal...they don't have good old B & N here of course...and I have no idea where else I could buy a journal.
-If anyone can find ball point pens in black or blue that are FINE POINT I would love you forever. Make sure they're fine point. I don't like the medium point. Too fat. That would be so amazing.
-Any CD you think I'd like...I'm craving some new music.
-On that note...shoot. Any books you'd think I'd like. Lately I'm really into those Christian inspirational/study books (aka Beth Moore, Paula Rinehart, etc.).
-A picture of us! I wish I had brought more pictures with me. I'm getting tired of the same ones...

This is all a lot to ask. I'm sorry. By no means do you have to send me all of that. Or even any of it. I just sure would love a little piece of home. :) I would greatly appreciate it.

Oh. And you can send it to this address:
Heather Davis
Republica de Cuba 516
Col. Panamericana, CP 31200
Chihuahua, Chihuahua, Mexico

If you don't want to spend money on a package, letters would be great too! You can send them to that address also. Oh...I guess I should say this too. If you're going to be sending anything of value (this really would only apply to my parents I guess), send it to this US address:
Heather Davis
c/o Greg Tarrant
2220 Bassett #38-46
El Paso, TX 79901
It will probably take another week or two longer, but it's guaranteed to get here that way.

Thanks. Seriously. I'd really love some stuff from home right now.

Really??

2007-09-14T11:53:00.000-07:00

I have ridiculous amounts of time for the internet in Mexico.
Again...not what I expected.

I expected something a little more like Elizabeth's situation in Ireland. She has to walk 4 miles to the next town's library to get internet access. Now that's dedication.

I on the other hand...am getting tired of looking the same websites over and over again and stalking through people's pictures on facebook...

Americans!

2007-09-13T14:20:00.000-07:00

So something really exciting happened this morning. I arrived at the school and entered to find 3 English-speaking men in the foyer with Greg, Laura, and Ana. Two of them were American and one was Mexican, but very fluent in English (he's the owner of the house next door where Jenny Beth and Tommy are living). We were in the middle of meeting everyone when 4 American STUDENTS, my age walked in! Two guys and two girls. It was the most glorious thing that's happened yet. It was so funny because almost immediately after they walked in, I had to go to class, but I was sooo anxious to stay and talk to them. 4 English-speaking gringos MY AGE! It really is strange how excited I was. The first 30 minutes of class I was so distracted because I was so excited that there were American kids there and all I wanted to do was meet them and talk to them!! I was so anxious. They left shortly after they arrived and I soon found out that they are students up at Eduventure (where Hector-the Mexican, English-speaking man, also Paloma's brother, who actually went to JBU with Greg back in the day- is teaching with his wife and kids for the semester--the other 2 men were also teachers) about 6 hours away from here up in the mountains. Very remote, very rugged. It's a semester program (that they also have in places like Fiji) with the idea of taking you away from the world. They have many classes including rock climbing, kayaking, backpacking, etc. As well as an intensive spiritual emphasis theme running. It sounds amazing to me. The 4 students have come down to Chihuahua for the weekend with Hector and crew for Independence day (which is on Sunday, but actually celebrated on this Saturday). That was the most exciting part that I found out because they'll be going with us to the Grito (a big, crowded party downtown) on Saturday--so I'll actually get to meet and chat with them. Yay! I'm really excited! It really makes me want to do Eduventure for a semester too! There's too many places I want to study abroad. Elizabeth's blog from Ireland is making me really jealous, so honestly I'd love to spend a semester there too. Haha..yeah right.

Ok so I realize that sometimes I can be a little bipolar...big deal!

2007-09-11T13:55:00.000-07:00

In an effort to make myself look less psychotic, I'm giving the credit to the Lord for giving me a refreshed outlook on things here in Mexico. Although I've been doing a lot of fun things, truthfully my time here has progressively gotten harder, and this weekend was it for me. I was extremely frustrated and lonely...and ok maybe even a little depressed. Such is life! It's a roller coaster here in Mexico, and now that I've hit "rock bottom," things are looking up. I prayed for a more optimistic view of the past and of the future and now I've got it. No, this journey hasn't been ANYTHING like what I expected, but none the less, it has been an adventure. Although parts of it are still very hard, it has been fun. I mean...I'm going to school in Mexico! That's pretty cool, right?! Not everybody goes to another country for a semester solely to learn another language. And truth is, I'd rather be here for a semester than at home in Flower Mound, or back at JBU when most of my friends are overseas this fall. I'm very slowly getting used to the culture, and my family, and the weirdness of it all. I miss my friends and family a lot, but I have to remind myself that the most comfort I can get comes from the Lord, and I'm only going to be here for 3 more months. I know the hardships will be way worth it when I come out speaking fluent Spanish. And learning to depend solely on the Lord is reward enough in itself...and I'm really having to do that a lot right now...because this really is hard. Things I wouldn't have thought would be hard to get used to about this culture are like nails on a chalkboard for me. I've only been here for 2 weeks, and I'll get used to them eventually. It's bittersweet I guess...I mean, I'm having fun, but at the same time the whole process is really challenging. I look forward to seeing how I grow from my experiences here. I look forward to becoming more and more fluent so that language barriers don't hinder my experiences (I've heard from 2 independent people that 4 weeks in another country studying the language is how long it takes for you to stop thinking in English).

On another note, Greg wants to move me to another house. He thinks the chaos and "familiness" of this one is too much for me, since I'm so independent. I'm really apprehensive. At least until Jenny Beth and Tommy leave in 2 weeks. But even then. The "what if's" scare me. We'll see how the next 2 weeks go I guess. I'm really not unhappy here. I just have to learn to say no, and explain to them that I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just used to a LOT more alone time.

Thanks for your prayers; I feel the Lord's hand in this.

My first futbol game in Mexico

2007-09-07T23:58:00.000-07:00

If I don't stick out like a sore thumb...I don't know what does.

Lovin' me some Elotes

2007-09-06T23:05:00.000-07:00

playing in the front yard before going downtown for dinner.

chihuahua's getting some action from that hurricane over on the west coast.

storms are coming!

the cathedral downtown.

el centro.

dinner at Elotes Alex. probably my favorite restaurant here. all they serve is corn. in cups. with cream, butter, chile, lime, and finely grated cheese. amazing.

whitters and i enjoying are Elotes on the cob. she was chowin' down!

Well...tomorrow's Friday. And I would normally have no class. But tomorrow we're having a field trip to downtown to do a trolley tour in the morning. So I'll have to get up even earlier than usual, but it'll be well worth it to spend the morning downtown with Greg, the other 3 students, and our 2 teachers. It'll be really fun. Then at 11 I'm supposed to meet little Sara and a group of kids from her pre-school at a museum downtown. She single-handedly got permission from the principal of her school to let me go with them on the field trip, with this warning of course (in Spanish) "But you must remember, you have to talk very slow or else she won't understand you." She's 5 by the way. Tomorrow night I'm going with one of my teachers and her friends to a futbol game. My very first in Mexico. She's 25 and single. Greg tells me I should become friends with her and her other friends from her youth group (young adults). I think this is a good idea. Judit speaks no English. And I'm bankin' on the assumption that none of her friends do either. I've gotten to the point where I can communicate pretty easily with Judit, so I think I'll be alright.

Saturday will be a day full of shopping, with the open air market here in town in the morning (I'm really looking forward to buying some authentic Mexican stuff---by the way, I purchased my first series of Mexican paraphernalia today--a flag and a bracelet--for about 35 pesos.), and hitting up one of the big malls here with Jenny Beth and Yazmin in the afternoon. Yazmin has the cutest clothes. She's promised to take me to find some of my own.

On Sunday Jenny Beth, Tommy, Ben, Whitlee, Greg, Paloma and I are road tripping out to La Junta for the day. I'm really excited to get out into "real" Mexico. It's about 2 1/2 hours west of here up in the mountains...definitely a lot more rugged than posh Chihuahua. It should be really fun.

Busy weekend ahead! Keep a look out for more pictures! Thanks for your prayers, I'm getting more comfortable here!

oh my gosh

2007-09-05T13:17:00.000-07:00

Before: a little over a year ago...notice how loved he looks.

Before: this summer. after 14 years of love.

After: we are sad about being clean. look how white he is!

After: he looks so new. i can't handle it.

The maid washed Raja and I think I might cry. He's never been washed in the entire 14 years I've had him...

I'm devastated...he smells like clean laundry. :(

I came home from my morning class to find my room smelling fresh and clean. A pleasant surprise. What was not a pleasant surprise was to then find a sparkling clean, still warm from the dryer Raja under the covers. He's been washed. Along with my blankets and pillows and everything else that was on my bed. The funniest part of the entire situation was my reaction. I pulled back the covers and actually gasped very dramatically and exclaimed, "Oh no!!" I then immediately began laughing as I pulled him from the pile of cleanness that is now my bed...but more of a I-can't-believe-I'm-actually-really-sad-about-this kind of pitiful laugh than an outright this-is-really-funny laugh. I really actually felt like I was going to cry for a while. Until I realized how funny the entire situation is. The maid that speaks no English washed my beloved tiger for the first time in 14 years. Seriously though...this is a big deal, ok?

Mas Fotos

2007-09-04T23:51:00.000-07:00

My pictures don't want to upload.

Go here:
http://jbu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2012420&l=5a1e8&id=157000247

and here:
http://jbu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2012422&l=fcf0e&id=157000247

2 different albums, and you don't have to have facebook to look! Yay!
Enjoy!

Foreign Country?

2007-09-04T23:48:00.000-07:00

Well I suppose I should post again. I'm really having a hard time pin-pointing how I feel about this whole experience thus far. I really don't feel anything. I will say this. This trip is so far NOTHING like I thought it would be.

I'm living in a house probably worth close to as much as my house in Flower Mound. I have wireless internet and a phone. I have a Mexican cell phone to use. There's nothing weird or different about the toilets or showers (except of course, for the extremely low pressure). There's a Wal-Mart, a Sonic, a Dairy Queen, a Burger King, a Carl's Jr., and of course a McDonald's. Everyone here drives cars. And nice ones too. There's no dust, no dirt, no desert (at least not in Chihuahua), just neat, clean city. There's a huge mall. A huge FloMo-esque gated community. You can walk down the street alone at night without fear. I'm sleeping in a bed bigger than the one I have at my parents' house. I eat close to 5 full meals a day, all different and tasty (no beans and rice for me). I'm actually dressing up kind of each day (I've only worn a t-shirt once--strange). I get up and shower AND straighten my hair almost every morning. I go DAYS without showering in the states. And Lord knows I never straighten my hair. I go to bed before midnight every night. I hang out with 2 women (almost 30 and 30) in my spare time and mainly talk about their marriages and their young kids. There are even nice restaurants. In fact, I've yet to go to a crappy one (as far as looks go...well for that matter...food quality too). Everyone drinks purified water and there's virtually no risk of drinking the bad stuff.

Other than crazy driving, road-side Mexico paraphernalia vendors and Tarahumara indians in the streets at big intersections during the day, this place is just like any other American city. It's really throwing me off. Apparently (according to a local), Chihuahua really is the most "American" city in Mexico. I won't lie. I'm slightly disappointed. I hoped for a real foreign experience. Nothing really feels foreign here. Except for the lax sense of time and commitment and the lack of fruit snacks and cracker packs in all grocery stores (including Wal-Mart).

What were my expectations, you ask? Granted, I went into this thinking I had none (I wrote in my journal the day I flew out here, "I honestly just have no idea what to expect..."). But I've come to find that I definitely had expectations. And lots of them. I expected fewer cars, or at least crappier ones, and no air conditioning. I imagined dry heat, and dust. I imagined loud city buses as being the most common way to get around. I imagined a small, modest, traditionally Mexican house I'd be living in with no nice tile floors and definitely no wireless internet. I imagined a quiet, cozy environment to rest and do my homework in. I imagined having time to read in the evenings. I imagined no TV in the house (although we never watch it...), and rustic showers and toilets. I imagined rice and beans and tortillas, not Honey Bunches of Oats, Lucky Charms, and chicken salads. I imagined things spaced out more, with dirt roads, not all brick and mortar, asphalt and cement. I imagined open air markets for food and for clothing and other goods. Not mile after mile of different grocery stores, department stores, and familiar fast food joints. I imagined meeting people my age from a church right away, and hanging out with them, having girls' nights with them. (No offense Jenny Beth, I'm so blessed to have ya'll!) I imagined having seen more of the city by now; I imagined getting more of a feel for Mexican culture by now.

That's not my Mexico. This feels American. I really don't feel like I'm studying in a different country. I don't feel like there's really anything to be jealous of. There's nothing different and cool about this. Yet. I'm bankin' on the yet.

Praise the Lord!

2007-09-02T15:49:00.000-07:00

Well...the miracle happened. I don't really know what I did...but somehow I messed with the encryption settings for my wireless connection and my computer is up and running. Thanks for your prayers! It really paid off. Here are my pictures from the last week!

to the left and bottom: one of our morning break excursions to Gorditas Ricas, a restaurant around the corner from the school. From left to right, clockwise. Greg, Tommy, Perla (my teacher), me, Jenny Beth, Dwayne, and Laura (Tommy, Dwayne, and Jenny Beth's teacher).

The far left about this is my house, with the tile roof. The house to the right of it is Jenny Beth and Tommy's house next door.

To the far left is my classroom where I spend up to 7 hours a day by myself with a teacher.

These 3 pictures are from Greg's house, where I stayed my first night here. It's really nice. ^^The "backyard" through the window.

The front door and bookcase.

The kitchen. I really love the green wall with the little windows in it.

Me and Whitlee (Jenny Beth's daughter) at their house next door.

Ok but seriously...

2007-09-01T23:33:00.000-07:00

Let´s all pray that the Lord would put his healing hands on my computer. I have faith that it can just start working again. I need this. Pray for a miracle.

Answered prayers

2007-09-01T10:05:00.000-07:00

So it´s friday and no tengo clases hoy! (I don´t have class today!) But my friends Jenny Beth and Tommy do, because they´ll only be here until the end of September. So I took the liberty of sleeping in today, as Yazmin was at work, so it was just me and Lucy (the maid) in the house. I slept til about 10:30. It was glorious. The last two nights it has stormed really heavily...I love waking up to a storm and then going back to sleep listening to it. And with the windows open at night, it was amplified even more.

Anyway, the wireless radio in my laptop is broken...and the external one I bought yesterday for 350 pesos isn´t working. I´m praying that something will work soon, because I really want to post my pictures. :( In the meantime, I will write word documents, and then copy them from my laptop onto the Portillos´ computer or at the school´s computer.

So it takes me 20 minutes to take a shower here, because the water pressure is almost non existent. It literally takes me 5 minutes to rinse the shampoo out of my hair.

And who thought I´d gain weight here?? Everyone knows I don´t like Mexican food...well...apparently that´s just American Mexican food. The food here is outstanding. Not saucy, not mushy, it doesn´t give you the worst indigestion ever. It´s only spicy. But good spicy. With chili powder...not tons of saucy crap. It´s so good....and clean. Real Mexican food is very clean. Amazing tacos, amazing gorditas, amazing elotes, amazing everything. So good. And did I mention there are 5 meals a day?? So...about that losing weight thing...not gonna happen.

Also: I´ve realized that the US is a very huggy country. Nobody hugs here. And sadly....I feel deprived. You kiss on the cheek everytime you meet somebody, come into the house, or leave....but no hugs. It´s very strange how bad I want to hug somebody...

I´m still struggling with the language. Last night at church, the pastor talked so fast (and apparently he has a speech impediment too) that I could only catch the words at the end of the sentences. And it took a LOT of energy to pay THAT close attention. The service was about 2 hours long, and I had a huge headache afterward. It frustrated me because everyone seemed extremely moved by the message he delivered. I wanted to feel the same thing.

God really is a faithful God. When I felt my most discouraged on Thursday afternoon about not having anyone to talk to and feeling really lonely already, I prayed for peace and for contentment as well as a friend here. That afternoon Greg took me to get a part for my computer and on the way talked to me in ENGLISH and asked me how I was feeling about things and what I think so far. Man what a huge sigh of relief I took as I let it all out. It was really nice to know that he is concerned enough about my wellbeing to speak to me in English. It sounds silly...but seriously. He told me he was really impressed with the progress I´d made in the first 4 days, and that he is completely confident that within a month or so, I should be pretty nearly fluent. He even told me it´s ok if I talk in English with my family every once and a while, since I am much farther ahead than the other students. It was exactly what I needed to hear.

And then last night the Lord gave me a friend. My age. Of course I have Jenny Beth and Jazmin, but it´s different with them because they´re both older with kids. Sonia was exactly what I needed. She honestly was really interested in hearing what I had to say, not like she was just talking to me out of pity since I have no other friends. It was really good to hang out with her last night. Praise the Lord for answered prayers! And thank you everyone who has been praying for me; it´s so good to know that I have people who love me and are praying for my best interest.

Oh. I´m sure many of you are wondering when I will be starting my ministry with orphanages and the transition home I always talked about. Greg has suggested that I wait a couple weeks til I get more comfortable with the culture and with the language. I think that´s a good idea. I think it´d be way too much for me right now. But I really can´t wait for God to use me in that ministry. :)

Well...I better go. We´re going to the park now, and I have to help make our picnic lunch. Adios!

My first Mexican friend

2007-09-01T01:08:00.000-07:00

So it´s reallllllly late. And I have to get up early to go to the park with the kids and Yazmin and Jenny Beth, but I´m going to post anyway. Tonight I went out with Yazmin´s sister Sonia, who´s 21. We went to her youth group (in Mexico youth groups are for anyone who is single) at the church and then at like 10:45 (sooo late) we went out to dinner. She took me downtown to this place called Elotes Alex. They serve this Mexican favorite called Elotes. It´s corn and butter and cream and lime juice and chile powder and cheese all mixed up in a cup. I´ve heard lots about it and according to Sonia, Alex´s is the best place to get it. It was amazing. VERY different, but very good. We got our cups to go and she took me on a tour of downtown. We parked the car and walked around the plaza, where everything is already decorated for Independence Day (Sep. 16), we went to these big fountains and there are all these huge statues. If you go to any website about Chihuahua, you will always see pictures of a big cathedral. Well...we went there, and it too was fantastic. We walked around for a long time and she told me all different things about the Mexican culture and about the holidays like el Dia de la Independencia, and Dia de los Muertos (the Mexican halloween). She told me all the things we would have to do together this semester, and all the things she´ll have to show me. I´m so excited. She´s like the sweetest girl ever and might I add quite possibly the prettiest human being I´ve ever seen. No lie...she is the most beautiful Hispanic person I´ve ever seen. Tonight she told me, "Talk with me." "About what?" "Anything....I like to talk with you about whatever you want. I love to talk. I also love to take pictures. Do you like to take pictures?" Oh boy...if only she knew. So...I´m pretty sure we´re gonna become really good friends, and I´m so excited. Mainly because she´s my age. And all her friends are my age. We´re going to go the movies tomorrow night...I can´t wait. :) Yay for new Mexican friends!!

Updates....

2007-08-29T21:14:00.000-07:00

I think I might be adjusting finally. Maybe. At first glance, I thought this city was pretty much like any American city you could live in, except maybe even safer. But every day I´m learning how different it is. Everyone takes a 3 hour break in the middle of the day, and then goes back to work or school only to return at 7 or 8 at night! And then only to eat dinner at 8:30 or 9, right before bed. This is probably the hardest thing for me to get used to. Although I´d love an hour siesta in between my classes, 3 hours is too much. Aun los dulces son diferentes aqui (Even the candy is different here). When I got to my afternoon class, my teacher greeted me with, "Buenas tardes. ¿Te gustan dulces?" (Good afternoon. Do you like candy?) I responded with a yes of course and she proceeded to empty a bag on the table with lots of candy. Take note: Only one candy in the entire bag was NOT spicy. Weird. Who likes sweet and spicy together? Mexicanos...

Anyway...tonight I´m babysitting los niños while Yazmin y Pompeyo go out to a movie. Apparently they do this every Wednesday. This is fine because I have a lot of homework tonight anyway. I never realized the challenge of babysitting kids who don´t speak your language. I´ll admit..I got onto FreeTranslation.com to figure out how to say, "What did I say? Please stay in your bed!" (Which, in case you´re wondering, is "¿Que dije? Por favor, se queda en la cama!") I think I finally got this across to Sara (she´s 5). And David cried and cried and cried, but is finally asleep. Again, it´s hard to tell a baby who doesn´t understand English to lay down, hush, be quiet, close your eyes, etc.

Tonight at dinner, Sara told me that she has a nickname for me: "Te llamamos Dora la Exploradora; tu hables español, y mucho ingles tambien!" ("We call you Dora the Explorer; you speak Spanish, and much English too!") I thought that was special. :)

I took lots of pictures today, but just of Jenny Beth and Co. and the school. Someday I will take pictures of all my teachers and of mi familia tambien.

Oh! My friend Kristen (Olsen, for those of you that know her) emailed me today and told me that she found out I was in Chihuahua for the semester and thold me that she is in Chihuahua too! She is in the city of Parral, which is about 2 1/2 hours away from Cd. Chihuahua, teaching Enlish at a school there. She´s already been to Chihuahua 3 times since July, so the next time she comes, we´re going to get together. Or I might take the bus out there, because I hear it´s very safe and direct. This made me really happy to know I have a friend from home so close to my new home. My friend Craig is studying in Mexico too, but he is in Merida, which is way south in the Yucatan Peninsula.

Classes today were frustrating as usual, but I can tell I´m progressing. It just takes me a long time to think about it. I think tomorrow I´m going to ask my host parents to only speak to me in Spanish (they feel bad because it takes me so long to communicate, so they let me speak in English).

I made my first plans to do things outside of school today! (You have no idea how happy this makes me...I prayed last night that I would either be content with how things are, because let´s face it, there´s no changing it, or that God would give me something to look forward to...other than day in and day out of class.) So...on Friday night, I´m going with Yazmin´s sister Sonja, out with some of her friends (Sonja is 21). And on Saturday, Yazmin, Sara, and David, and Jenny Beth and her kids, and I are going to a big park in the city and out to lunch. Saturday night, Jenny Beth and Tommy are having me and Dwayne (the other student) over to their house for dinner. On Sunday, we are going to church and then to a birthday party. And next weekend, I think Jenny Beth, Tommy, the kids and I are going to drive out to a small town called La Junta, that´s like due east of here. Jenny Beth worked with a church there over spring break and she wants to go to it again. So that will be a fun little road trip. Then at the end of September when Jenny Beth´s husband, Benton, comes to visit, we´re going to take the train, hopefully, out to Creel and through the mountains to Copper Canyon. I´ve heard it´s amazing. Yay for plans!

Well, I must go do my homework now...I´m giong to try to do all of it tonight, even though my teacher, Judith, said it´s ok if I don´t get all of it done since I´m babysitting. Pues, hasta mañana!

Oye...

2007-08-28T22:50:00.000-07:00

Let me emphasize how LATE the Mexican schedule is....I am exhausted, and this is when mi familia is just getting going. I come home from school around 7:30 or 8 and eat dinner around 8:30 or 9, and then all I want to do is go to bed, but I have lots of homework to do. Other than the language barrier (which is getting better), this is probably the hardest thing to get used to. I feel like it´s about midnight right now. I hate this. Quiero aprender espanol, pero no quiero hacer mi tarea esta noche.

I really wish I had pictures to post....but I haven´t taken any yet. Crazy, I know. I got really jealous because mi amiga Jenny Beth (ella esta en la escuela conmigo) has posted many pictures on her blog, even one of the Bienvenidos a Chihuahua sign at the entrance to the city. I didn´t even see that sign. I have to remind myself that even though it feels like I´ve been here for a week, I´ve only been here for 2 days and I will have plenty of opportunities to get out and take pictures. I secretly wish I was living in my own apartment like Jenny Beth and Tommy so I could have the freedom to go or do whatever I want to in the evening (they have a car), but I live with a family and I feel rude if I´m not home before 8. Oh well...hopefully, I will have plenty of opportunities to go out around town, take pictures, and travel throughout the semester. Well...I guess it´s time to do my tarea and go to bed!

Hasta proximo, adios!

Well...

2007-08-28T18:44:00.000-07:00

My first two days have been very interesting. I'll be honest...yesterday sucked. It was all espanol all day and I had about 10 minutes of "english time" total in the entire day. It was soo frustrating and I hate not being able to get my point across. I was almost in tears the entire day. It was my first day in my host home, which is really nice by the way, and when I got home after school finally around 7, I was completely exhausted. Everything here is on a later schedule. They eat lunch at 2:30ish and dinner at 8:30 or 9! I was ready for bed before dinner last night! It's very exhausting...and extremely frustrating. But today already was so much better. I could tell I was understanding a lot more even when people speak very quickly. And I've already learned so many new phrases and words. It's gonna be good. By the end of the week I should be golden. I'm in a class by myself with a teacher in the morning and another one in the afternoon. It helps a lot because I can ask as many questions as I want. I really love the one-on-one thing. Anyway....I need to go but back to my host home, but I thought I'd catch ya'll up on how my first 2 days have been. Es bueno! Hasta mas tarde!

Mas Fotos Para Ti

2007-08-26T22:53:00.000-07:00

all set and ready to leave the country...peace out, america!!

the bags I will become extremely close to in the next 4 months...

Estoy muy cansada; es tiempo para dormir! Hasta luego amigos.

I made it

2007-08-26T22:32:00.000-07:00

So here I am...in Mexico. My flight went well; as irony would have it, I sat beside a Mexican woman on the plane. :) Greg's wife Paloma, and mother-in-law Rosie picked me up from the airport and drove me 4 1/2 hours south to Chihuahua. I met Greg at the school, got a short tour, talked about classes tomorrow (in which I will be with a private classroom one-on-one with a teacher who doesn't speak much English....since I'm more "advanced" than the other 3 students...or so they think), and then we drove to my host home. My family wasn't home so we went next door to a house that 2 of the students are renting...which is fabulous because they can drive me to school everyday...and also...it's just nice to have an English 'safe haven,' if you will. I met those 2 students, Jenny Beth and her father-in-law Tommy, and Jenny Beth's two kids Ben, who's 4, and Whitlee who is 1. Super cute. So those are the neighbors. Greg eventually called my host family to find out that they got stuck in El Paso, where they've been for the last couple days, but couldn't make it back tonight. So right now I'm at Greg and Paloma's house which is REALLY nice up in this gated community called Mision del Bisques up in the hills overlooking the city. Which by the way...is huge, yet somehow feels small. And don't let the bars on all the windows and doors mislead you...everyone says it's very safe, at least in our part of town. Chihuahua is located on a plateau surrounded by mountains on all sides except the north. And really...it's beautiful. The architecture is fantastic and the colors are vivid. According to little Ben and Whitlee...there are also tons of parks with big slides within walking distance. Fantastic. So at about 8:30 (which is when Mexicans normally eat dinner) Greg, Paloma, and I went to a taco stand turned restaurant about 5 minutes from their house called Tacos Sonoros and it was fabulous. I had to order in Spanish of course, which was difficult because the waiter spoke so quickly and I felt extremely put on the spot. But the food was great, the drinks even better, and Greg and Paloma even spoke English the whole time for me. :) Tomorrow my real communication adventure begins...I really can't wait to start classes so I can get better! I want to be able to communicate with these people so badly. Well...buena noche y hasta manana!

Oh yeah...there's the picture of me with all my bags and such before I left the country!

Yikes.

2007-08-25T20:49:00.000-07:00

I've just finished packing. It took me all day because I keep decreasing the amount of stuff I'm taking so I'll have more room to bring stuff back. So now I'm down to a little more than 2 weeks worth of clothes...for 4 months. But somehow I still have 2 fairly large suitcases. Full of books, notebooks, jackets (I have to freaking pack for winter!), a photo album, and hair products. Ok so maybe 1/3 of one of those suitcases is entirely hair products...big deal, ok? Ugh.
So I'm tired. And I really can't believe I'll be in Mexico in 24 hours. I like to consider myself pretty independent and adventurous, but I'll be honest...I'm getting REALLY nervous. A) My Spanish is not NEARLY as good as I'd like it to be to feel comfortable traveling in a foreign country by myself. B)....Ok so maybe that's really the only reason I'm nervous at all. But that's a BIG reason! Well and I have no skirts to wear to church down there (they have to be past your knees). I feel like I have so much stuff...but really I don't have that many clothes at all. I'm gonna go try to trim it down again.
The next time I'll write I will probably be in Mexico. Yikes. Adios amigos!

It's Official.

2007-08-24T01:36:00.001-07:00

I leave for Mexico in approximately 60 hours.
....what in the world.

White-Trash Pseudo Pool Pictures

2007-05-22T12:26:00.000-07:00

Yes please.

Stupid Google

2007-05-22T12:17:00.000-07:00

Well cool. Google's taken over the world, and now I can't access my old blog. Oh well...love ya, high school.
So here I am...on a blog. I'll be leaving for Camp War Eagle in a week, and then Canada for a couple weeks, then camp again, then home for a couple weeks, then off to Mexico for the fall. This is probably the main way I will make updates. Seems to be the thing to do while traveling abroad. Well...nothing's really going on right now. Although I did by a plastic pop-up pool at Wal-mart the other day. It's chillin' in my backyard. So whitetrash...plastic pool with water that's too cold and has bugs floating in it, and a lime green floaty raft that's almost too long to fit in the pool. Oh and my new bikini is from Wal-mart too. Love ya, Sam Walton!
Well...I better get back to laying out in my white trash backyard.
Love you all!